Something lightOnce upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of others including Love. However, one day it was announced to the couples that the island would sink, so all prepared their boats and left. Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to stay until it started sinking. When Love was almost sinkng, he decided to ask for help.Richness was passing by Love in a beautiful boat.Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?"Richness answered, "No, I can't. There are a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by, "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and can probably damage my boat,"Vanity answered.Sadness was closed by so Love asked for help, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh...Love, I am so sad that I prefer to go alone!"Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not listen when Love called her!Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elderly. Love became very happy that he even forgot to ask the name of the elderly. When they arrived to the other side , Love asked Knowledge who was the elderly. "It was Time." "Time? But why did Time help me?" "Because only Time is capable understanding such a great Love."
A Poem Written by an African Shakespeare Dear white fellaCouple things you should knowWhen I born, I blackWhen I grow up, I blackWhen I go in sun, I blackWhen I cold, I blackWhen I scared, I blackWhen I sick, I blackAnd when I die, I still black. You white fellaWhen you born, you pinkWhen you grow up, you whiteWhen you go in sun, you redWhen you cold, you blueWhen you scared, you yellowWhen you sick, you greenAnd when you die, you grey. And you have the cheek to call me colored
Women If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman If you don't, you are not a man If you praise her, she thinks you are lying If you don't, you are good for nothing If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp If you don't, you are not understanding If you visit her often, she thinks you are boring If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy If you don't, you are a dull boy If you are jealous, she says it's bad If you don't, she thinks you do not love her If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her If you don't, she thinks you do not like her If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait If she is late, she says that's a girl's way If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time" If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls" If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring If you talk, she wants you to listen If you listen, she wants you to talk In short: So simple, yet so complex So weak, yet so powerful So confusing, yet so desirable So damning, yet so wonderful... ......WOMEN!
ONEI have oneYou have oneYour mother uses your father's oneA married lady would possess oneA divorced lady would lose her oneA Pope doesn't use his oneLee Kuan Yew has a short-short oneMao Ze Dong had a hairy oneLord Krishna had a long-long oneArnold Schwarzenneger has a longer oneMichael J. Fox has a shorter oneMadonna doesn't have oneThe Chinese usually have short onesWhile the Indian usually have long onesDo you have one?How long is your one?Which one is your preferred one? (It's a riddle. Think before you answer. It's aneasy answer,justthinkSTRAIGHT & SIMPLE, NOT NAUGHTY)Hee...Hee....Hee....;-)Keep guessing ! Don't give up yet.The answer is - Lastname....???????
Dumbs artA bus stops to let on a passenger. One attractive lady steps onto the bus and puts herright thumb to her nose and wiggles her fingers without saying a word. The bus driver puts hisright thumb to his nose and his left thumb to the palm of his right hand and wiggles all eight ofhis fingers. The woman then looks a bit confused and in silence grabs her boobs! The bus driver in a growing lack of patience grabs his balls, the woman then turns around, grabs her ass and struts off the bus!! A frequent passenger who sits at the front of the bus looks to the driver, and says, "Tom, I've been riding your bus for quite a few years now and I've never seen anything as vulgar as this! I'm going to have to ride a different route!" Tom, the driver looks to the woman sitting in the front seat and replies, "You are mistaken, that woman was deaf. She asked me if this bus was headed for 5th. street, I said, 'no, 10th street.' She asked if it went to the Dairy Mart, I told her that it went to the ball park and she said, 'shit, I'm on the wrong bus' and left.'"
Fast fly A man traveling by airplane was in urgent need of using the restroom. Each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament suggested that he use the ladies room, but cautioned him against pressing any of the buttons. The buttons were marked:W W; WA; PP; and ATR. Making the fateful mistake that many men make in disregarding what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway. He carefully pressed the button marked WW and immediatly warm water sprayed over his entire bottom. He thought, "Golly, the girls really have it made." Still curious, he pressed the button marked WA, and warm air dried his bottom quickly.He thought that this was out of this world. The button marked PP yielded a powder puff that powdered his bottom lightly with powder. Well, naturally, he couldn't resist the last button marked ATR. When he woke up in the hospital, he panicked and buzzed the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out: "What the hell happened?" The nurse replied: "You were having a great time until you pressed the button marked ATR, which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover. Your ----- is under your pillow! Have a nice day!"
